Thursday 12 July 2018

It's the last post of the week, so ...

So ... be happy, man! I am. 'Is that the news, boss? It's the last post of the week?' Yeah, it's the news. So what?

I did get one PR email about female fund managers only managing 4 percent of the world's assets or something. There should be more women managers? I suppose it is a problem. I don't know. Now, this may be a controversial thing to say, but ... maybe women have better things to do with their time. You dig? Personally, as a man, I don't manage a fund. I've never managed a fund. I have no desire to manage a fund. All I want to do is play my guitar. I'm a free spirit! Maybe these women want to paint pictures or something. What do I know? Who gives a shit?!

Christ! Let's make the most of our lives, dear reader(s). Let's not waste them. Remember, there are billions of years to come, years without us, years rolling over us ...

I want to go to St Ives again. I don't know if I will. The weather is changing, anyway. Bloody English weather! Why can't it stay at twenty degrees centigrade and be nice and sunny all the time? It's either a hellish thirty degrees making us sweat like monkeys in a barrel of treacle, or it's freezing cold and pissing down with rain. That's why I want to live in Malibu, man. I think they have pretty stable weather over there all year round.

Of course, I've got to hit the big time as a rock star first. I mean, I don't want to be sucking around Malibu like the Dude, you know, Lebowski. Mr Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name, I don't like your jerk-off face, I don't like your jerk-off behaviour, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear? That's the sheriff, that is. It's not good, is it?

Okay. Laters!