Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Another chat with Euan Munro

Yes, another chat with the Aviva Investors chief executive. Why not? I haven't got anything else to do, and I haven't received any decent PR emails from anyone. It's all crypto rubbish, and I'm getting fed up with it, frankly. / So I phoned my mate Euan late last night. 'You phoned him, boss?' Yes, Voice. 'You didn't use a mind connection?' Ha! In this heat? Be serious. No, I phoned him, dear reader(s), and this is what was spoken between us -

FFS! Hello, Michael. What do you want at this hour? Just a chat, man. What's your problem? I ain't got a problem, son. Good! So, how's it all going with the beer and ice cream and that? Great, Mikey! No problems at all. I told you this CO2 shortage was a load of bollocks, didn't I? Well, I don't think it's over yet, man. Have you got your crumpets? I heard you had a bit of trouble. Yeah. Yeah, I've got my crumpets. You don't sound too happy about it. Well, I think I've got the wrong margarine, Euan. Oh. You see, I normally like Flora Original, but I had to get this Flora Light instead, and I'm not sure about it. I mean, it tastes different. Oh, okay. How long have you been using it? Since Saturday. Well, it's early days yet. Maybe it'll grow on you. Yeah. / So, is everyone having a good time in the park? What?! We're having an amazing time, Mike, believe me. Thanks for asking. We go to the pub in the evenings as well. And we haven't even touched the cans in the office yet. Did you get some in then? Ha! We can hardly move in the office now. Cans everywhere. Right. Well, that doesn't matter, does it? When was the last time you spent a whole day in the office, Euan? Er ... end of May, I think. The Schroders lot don't go in there, do they? Oh, no. They run the funds from their offices. Makes it easier. Yeah, I suppose. Ha! Bunch of mugs, eh? Ha! Tell me about it, Mikey! But they like doing the work, so, uh ... leave them to it, yeah? Do you know what I mean, man? It's their life, Euan. You can't change people. I wouldn't want to.


Well, it went on like that for a while, dear reader(s). We didn't discuss finance. 'There's no need to, boss, not with Schroders taking care of everything. Actually, why don't you phone someone at Schroders and discuss it with them?' Ha! No thanks, Voice. Life is too short.