Thursday 14 October 2010

Schroder Investment Limited Guaranteed Bullion and Commodities

Oh, what's this? A new fund? No, it's another scam. From Fund Strategy - here. We all know how much Fund Strategy like its little scams. Maybe the FSA should investigate. Oh, I'm twisting things. Fund Strategy isn't running the scam. Just reporting on it. Let's not get confused! There's enough confusion in the world. We don't want to add to it, do we?

Or maybe we do. Maybe we're devilish muthas from the bowels of hell. Have you ever considered that possibility? Maybe I'm Jack Pickles. Maybe you're one of my awful fiery demons. You are looking a bit red in the face. Is that normal? It could be your aura, I suppose, bleeding into your face, sticking there. Or it could be my eyes. My physical eyes, my astral eyes. Yes, I see you. You cannot hide. Not that you would want to hide. We have no secrets. I tell you everything; and you, well, you rarely tell me anything at all, do you? But I slip into your subconscious every now and then. Just to check up on you. That's all right with you, isn't it? It better be because there's no way you can stop me.

'This is not a fund of Schroder Investment Limited, Schroder Investment Management Limited or any subsidiary of Schroders plc. Any funds invested with regard to this offer will not be invested with Schroders.'

Someone's statement. Someone from Schroders. I have a statement of my own.

'I am not Jack Pickles. I am not the world's most demonic financier. I am not in league with the devil. I have no desire to confuse anyone. Fund Strategy would never try to rip people off with a share or fund scam. What a suggestion! There are so many troublemakers around. That's the problem. I blame the devil myself. Someone is in league with him. Not me. Someone else. Who? Jack Pickles. That's who. I blame Jack Pickles. Boiler rooms? There's more to it than that. Murder, blackmail, kidnapping, extortion. The list is endless. And it's nothing to do with me. I want to float around on the astral plane in peace. I want to write my blog in peace. Is this too much to ask? Why do people always think I'm up to no good? I've never even been to the Cayman Islands. I'm not a billionaire. I don't have a pot to piss in. Not since falling out with Lloyd. Although he wants me to work for him again. I'd rather work for the devil! And Bobby hasn't paid me yet. He was going to give me an advance. So this is how it is. Who can judge me? Only Big Herb can judge me. I have nothing to be ashamed of.'

That's my statement. I feel much better now.