Tuesday 1 February 2011

Anthony Nutt and his Jupiter Income fund thrown into darkness

We will not despair. Everything has turned black for fund manager Anthony Nutt. His Jupiter Income fund has been put on a black list by the creatures at Principal Investment Management. And they have painted his aura black. Now, the cold wind of winter attacks him. We see him, on the hard ground, shivering. But we will not despair.

Who gave the order? Was it Peter Finnigan? A terrible one! Was it Paul Stevens? His smiling face covers his sins. Or was it Sarah O'Gorman? Even a trainee investment manager can be capable of great evil. I am sure we will never know. We must be on our guard. The Gartmore UK Equity Income fund is another doomed fund. Oh, they are the destroyers of funds! They are the hounds of hell that all fund managers fear.

Anthony Nutt, do not despair. You are a seeker, a mystical man, with a good heart. This is a test. You will get through this, with our love and support. Children, we must look after our own. Do ghostly financiers burn in desert sands with such righteousness just so we can selfishly turn away from those in need? Do money gods fly high in astral skies just so we can eat and drink and be merry, while our brothers, and sisters, go without comfort? No, that is not the way! It is not our way.

Who can judge a fund? 'This fund must go on the black list.' A human voice. 'That fund must go on the white list.' An ignorant voice. Hear this and understand: only God can judge! Unless God has spoken of the funds, we will not pay attention to any murmurings from the mouths of fools. Only God's voice, clear and loud, could sway us. However, He is above finance. It was His decision. We will never hear His voice. It is Satan that they serve, those miserable creatures at Principal Investment Management. Satan speaks to them, and they follow his commands. When he -

O Master, is this an improvement?

Silence, child!

Yes, yes, yes, I am one of your children. A mere voice in your head, certainly, but still a child. You cannot banish me from your blog. It would be an injustice. O Master, be merciful.

All right, my child, you can stay, for the time being. But you must promise to behave. I want you to help me, not hinder me. Help me achieve greater clarity and sanity, not more confusion and madness. I intend to stay out of the pit.

O Master, I will try my best.

Yes, you will try your best, and my true enemies will do their worst. I must destroy them. I will destroy them!

O Master, these enemies of which you speak, they are the enemies of all right-thinking, money-loving souls. They are the dirt under our fingernails. Oh, in my dreams, I have fingernails. They are the stains on our skins. Oh, if only I had skin. They are -

My child, enough! I understand. I understand our enemies. And I understand you. It is so very difficult, the life of a voice. I know you have suffered. Forgive me if I have been harsh with you.

O Master, I forgive you. Yes, I forgive you. We have new strength! We are both rowing in the same direction.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I feel like a god. A human god. Let the voices come. I will have control of them all. There is nothing to fear. I can look into the abyss, with this unity. I can take my angel. Who will stop me? This is the way. THE WAY. It is the way.