Friday, 4 February 2011

There was a JPMorgan Chase risk officer who knew all about Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme

But no one knows his name or even if the wretched thing existed at all. Note my use of the word 'thing'. You see, I have a theory that this JPMorgan risk officer was a thing - a depraved thought-form, a mad image, or a demonic puppet - brought into existence by Bernard Madoff's boss, Mr Jack Pickles.

I know what you're thinking. 'Michael Fowke has gone too far this time. The man is a fool.' Oh yeah? Explain to me then why the risk officer kept quiet about the Ponzi scheme. It's obvious that this thing was working for Jack. And, sure, it existed in some sense. But I doubt -

O Master, the risk officer could have been a bona fide person under Jack's control. With actual arms and legs, and a penis, even a mind. You know how he operates.

Yeah, er, my child, demonic puppets have actual arms and legs, don't they? And you can fake the mind. How intelligent do you have to be to work at JPMorgan?

There's something you're not telling us.

All right. Listen. I have heard that Jack Pickles has become disillusioned with people. He considers them awkward, difficult to manipulate. Bernie let him down badly. The only reason Bernie is still alive is that he's too high-profile. Jack knows that if he whacks him, even the scaredy-cats in the mainstream media will start to ask questions. So, this 'thing', this risk officer, was a prototype, really. It did its job beautifully. The rumour is that Jack is going into mass production.

Will they be thought-forms or -

O my child, they've got to be puppets. If they're going to have a physical presence in the world, then they've got to be puppets. It's a very disturbing development.

You're telling me! What can we do about it?

I'll be discussing it with the lads this weekend in the desert of our love.

The lads?

Big Herb, Ganesh the elephant god, the ghosts of the dead financiers, assorted financial shamans and money mystics. There'll be a few girls coming along as well. Susan Flint is a fully qualified shaman now.

Jesus! It's going to be a major conference, then. Can I come?

If you behave yourself. But Jesus won't be there.

Who gives a shit?

Precisely. That's what I said.