Friday, 18 February 2011

I want to live in a Big Society

I hate the old society. It's too small for my liking. I want to live in a Big Society, with buffoons sticking their noses into my business, with fascists forcing me to volunteer for stuff, and with corrupt politicians reaping all the benefits.

I want to be a part of something. I'm scared and lonely. I want to join the People's Army. I want to be one of Cameron's slaves. I have no personality. I am not an individual. I'm sure I'll feel better once a bunch of strangers have started loving me.

I hate freedom. I love the state. Big Society is the Big State on the cheap. Don't be fooled. Who wanted this? We all wanted this, and it's what we deserve. We asked for it. We wanted Dave. We wanted his vision. Are we communists? Who knows?

I love the boss. He gave me my life. He allows me to breathe. I am so grateful. I have free will. I follow the boss. It's something I want to do. The boss has passion. It's a wonderful thing to have passion when you have no soul.

Watch him move his hands around. We're all incredibly impressed. There's no way this man could be a charlatan. There's nothing in it for him. He is our servant. He works for us. That's why we're all so happy.

I want to be a cog in the wheel. I want to be loved. Everyone remembers the cannon fodder. Put me in the machine. I want to be humiliated. I am a masochist. I want to get involved. I am not a selfish man. The Big Society will save us all.