Monday, 15 August 2016

Helena Morrissey quits as chief executive of Newton Investment Management!

After more than twenty years! Well, she's been working too hard. I've always said this. 'But she's going to be non-executive chairman now.' Oh, that's an easy job, Voice. 'Is it?' I think so. Uh. What do I know? I imagine it is. That's the important thing. 'Boss, the shit you imagine in that head of yours is always the most important thing. That's the secret of your success.' Ha! You're damn right it is! Nothing succeeds like fantasy.

Dear reader(s), do you remember this from 2008? -

Unusually, for a woman, Helena Morrissey - the chief executive of Newton Investment Management - has spent quite a bit of time in the desert. In an exclusive interview with me, she said: "I am one of the very few female financial shamans, and the desert is my second home. The astral plane is where I have my fun, and who is going to stop me? It's about time women broke through the glass ceiling. We are not happy to be money mystics any more. We want to be financial shamans. Everything is up in the air because of the credit crunch. I'm referring to the desert air, of course. And I ain't talking about vultures. You know what I mean. You've been there, Michael. You've lived the life. You've burnt the money. You've danced with the ghosts. And not in the desert sands! Oh no, you have flown through the air with these ghosts, and so have I. That surprises you, doesn't it?"

Ah, those were the days! (And I was surprised.) 'Tell me about it!' Er, the desert? You know all about it already. You were there, weren't you? 'Well, you know what they say, Mikey. If you can remember the desert, you weren't really there.' Ha! Let's face facts, man, we've always been NOWHERE. 'That's the way we like it.' True.

Where are YOU(!), reader(s)? Are you ... here - ? / Obviously, I'll be discussing this in more detail after lunch. 'No. 438?' Yeah, No. 438.

Anything else? Christ! I'll be honest with YOU(!), my friend(s), there isn't a lot going on. I mean, no financial news. Everyone's on holiday. 'What about the Aviva Investors gang?' Ha! Their lives are one big fucking holiday. 'It's lovely weather for the park, boss.' I wouldn't know. I'm stuck indoors, slaving over a hot laptop. Or a hot guitar. 'Yeah, your Epiphone Les Paul looks hot.' Well, it's faded cherry sunburst, ain't it?

Well, well ... / Music? Music update? I'm not doing updates no more. I can't be bothered. However, I can tell you that I got a new tune at the weekend, which means I only need one tune and three lyrics now for my new improved four-track demo. 'Yippee!' It's only a matter of time, son. Let's keep on rockin' in the free world!