Tuesday 23 August 2016

Who is Kim Ivey?

Right. Let me tell you - 'Yeah, who is she, boss?' Shut up, Voice! It's a man. He's Australian. 'Oh, okay. I suppose that's how they do things ...' What?! Shut up, you idiot! Mr Ivey is a hedgie type, and he reckons hedge funds are doing really well in Australia at the moment. 'Er ... hedge funds in Australia?' Yes. 'I didn't know they had any.' Ha! You know they've got banks, right? 'Well ...' Christ! The ignorance is astounding. Please excuse my intern, Mr Ivey, if you're reading. I can't get the staff, you know. 'He doesn't bloody pay me!' Shut up! Sorry. He's a cretin.

Anyway, dear reader(s), I've been looking at our Kim's LinkedIn profile, for reasons best known to no one -

My full time career prior to 2010 was entirely within the Financial Services industry. Post 2010 I created my own family office to continue my proprietary investments in public and private markets. I continue my work for Hedge Funds Rock and The Australian Hedge Funds Awards; the body we started in 2002 to judge the best local alternative investment managers and as an annual social organizer to raise money for charities assisting children in need.

He has thirty years experience, too. So ... er - 'What's the point of this post, boss?' Ha! I've got to write about something, man. Uh, hedge funds are doing well in Australia because of ... China and Brexit, I don't know. That's the story. 'Well, if that's the story, why isn't the title Hedge funds are doing well in Australia - ?' That would be stupid. 'No more stupid than Who is Kim Ivey?' Look, give me a break, Voice. The awards are coming up, in a couple of weeks. 'What fucking awards?!' The hedge fund awards! In Sydney! 'Oh. Are you going?' No, I'm not going. This is for my Australian readers. They might be going. 'Okay.' Jesus!


Ah, that's enough. Seriously. / It's just one of those posts, this post, yeah? I mean, I start off in a confused state, and things just get worse. It happens occasionally. The Voice doesn't help. 'Don't blame me!' Oh, I do blame you. I blame you for a lot of stuff, man.

The sun is shining! I can't go out though. I've got another conceptual to do, No. 441. / Laters.