Wednesday, 23 September 2009

BlackRock Global Investors!

Yeah, it's gonna happen! The EU has given its blessing. Not that any of us give a toss what those commie sons and daughters of bitches in the EU do or say. BlackRock will be able to buy Barclays Global Investors for $13.5 billion now - give or take a few pennies or cents, or is the price exactly $13.5 billion? The new combined company will be called Blackrock Global Investors. O Master, I think your readers will see the title of this post. They are not stupid, you know. THEY HAVE SEEN IT! No, they will see it. O my child, they have seen it. Whatever.

Where was I? BlackRock Global Investors! Yes. It will become the world's largest money manager. Tell them about the client funds. Okay. $2.8 trillion of client funds!!! That is amazing!

O Master, imagine if we could swim in all that money in the sands of the astral desert!

Do you mean swim in the sand, or the money?

I'm suggesting that all that cash could be mixed in with the sand. It would be an astral sand cash soup, and we would be in it!

Yeah! And would we set fire to it all, the cash and the sand?

O Master, of course we would.

O my child, you are a child after my own heart. And I think we should try. All we have to do now is persuade BlackRock to give us the money. What are our chances? Obviously, we will not burn the cash to ashes. Obviously, this will be the everlasting burning we are all familiar with in the astral desert of our dreams. It will be money that burns that burns that burns forever!

O Master, BlackRock will not let us keep the money forever. Unless …


O Master, does BlackRock employ any financial shamans or money mystics?

Not to my knowledge.

Well, then, let us steal the money! If BlackRock ain't got no shamans or mystics, it won't venture on to the astral plane after us, will it? It will have no choice but to write the money off.

What, $2.8 trillion?!

Stranger things have happened.

True, my child. Very true. But we shouldn't steal the money. That's the sort of thing that -

That Jack would do? And, of course, you wouldn't behave like Jack, would you? Perish the thought!