Monday, 7 September 2009

Farley Thomas and ETFs

Right, let's get something straight. Farley Thomas is the head of wholesale distribution at HSBC Global Asset Management. That's great. I'm sure he knows all about exchange traded funds. I'm sure he dreams about them. But he doesn't know anything about mysticism.

He tells some newspaper what he believes. He believes ETFs are an important part of the asset manager's tool kit. Although he doesn't say which asset manager. O Master, does he have someone in mind? I don't know. He won't say. He believes that trust will play a part in HSBC's ambitious ETF plans. Oh, ambitious! It's always 'ambitious' with this sort. O my child, have you met this sort? Yes. I've met them. What's more, he believes that this is just the start of a much bigger explosive growth. Explosive? What, without the help of Big Herb, and Ganesh the elephant god, and the ghosts of the dead financiers? Is this guy for real?

You see, dear reader, even a disembodied voice on a blog such as this knows that you ain't gonna get no growth in the current climate and trust don't mean shit unless you have the support of Big Herb and Ganesh. And the ghosts of the dead financiers, and your good self, of course. Of course! My good self! Why hasn't Farley Thomas approached me? O Master, it is pure arrogance on his part. He needs to learn some humility. Let's burn him! To ashes! No, my child, we are not going to burn him - at least, not to ashes. WE ARE NOT LIKE THE SATANIC ONES. Like Jack Pickles and his dark angels. And his boss! Yes, Satan as well. No, we will not burn Mr Farley to ashes. But we will touch him with the fire of money. So it will be a burning of a certain kind, yeah? Yeah, but nothing too heavy. You know how we groove. We will just give him a taste of our love. Hopefully, he'll become addicted. Yes. And then we'll have him, own him. And we will show him how to really do business with these ETFs of his. Our way. The mystic way. Sounds great. Let's get to work!