Friday, 4 September 2009

Jon Moulton leaves Alchemy Partners!

You probably didn't hear it here first, but we are going to get to the heart of the matter and find out the 'real' truth. Who is this 'we'? WE IS EVERYONE, my child. We are the people. We are the cosmos. Damn straight.

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Mr Moulton has left Alchemy Partners and he has got bad vibes and evil words for everyone. He told investors in a letter: 'Alchemy is not what it once was'. HE WANTS THE PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM TO BE WOUND UP! That is outrageous! Yeah. What are we going to do about it? What are we going to do about it?


Is that wise? Alchemy may be in no fit state to cope with a team of fired-up financial shamans - all ready to rock, to screw with the heads of staff, to make them see the world, the financial situation, with new eyes. O Master, is this really wise?


What the fuck?! Where did you read that, man?

I didn't read it anywhere. I HEARD IT. I KNOW IT. He spoke to me, in my mind. A voice crying out: 'Mikey, give me your shamans! We need them, man. Bring the lads in.'

So that's why Jon has left!

That's the truth. Jon did not want to burn. He did not want the love inside him. Shame.