Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Stefano Marsaglia to Barclays Capital from Rothschild

Yes, it is a long journey in your mind when you travel from one bank to another. When you get the call on a dark, howling night - that's howling wind, my friends - from Bobby Diamond, as he tries to pull you away after seventeen years at Rothschild, and tries to lead you to the door of BarCap, where who knows what mystic delights await you. Oh, it can be terrible! Fear will enter your little mind - a mind too small for the wonders Bobby will implant. At such times, you must pray for expansion. I imagine Stefano fell to his knees and cried out: O Big Herb, I need more capacity. I cannot understand the ways of Bobby. Grant me a bigger mind, a greater soul, a sublime consciousness. Then I shall follow you and understand everything perfectly.

O Mr Marsaglia, you are going to be all right. You have been chosen. And consider this: not even Bobby knows all the secrets, all the ways. He is still a neophyte. So have no fear, and good luck in your new role at BarCap as chairman of global financial institutions.