Friday, 4 September 2009

Lewis Charles Securities: unauthorised trading!

It happens to the best of them. Lewis Charles Securities has been touched (yeah) by a loss from unauthorised trading. It happened at the end of July. But how much did the stockbroker lose?

I have been speaking to Stavros Loizou, chief executive of the firm, and he told me, 'Michael, you know I can't talk about the loss. You know I can't put a number on it for you. (Please, Stavros, mate.) Sorry, Michael. Let's talk about the love that burns forever. (I'm sick of talking about the love that burns forever. I suppose it all seems new and exciting to you, but I live this burning love shit 24/7. Sometimes I just wanna get all square, you dig? Talk about finance the way the grey people do, the ones with cold souls.) Oh man, you're putting me on! Mikey, I know you. I know you can't stop grooving, can't stop burning it up in the desert of our dreams, the desert that our ancestors established in the minds of mystics and shamans everywhere. Come on, Mikey, tell me about the burning love. (All right, Stavros, just because you're a dear friend, I'm gonna lay it on you.) Hit me, baby. (The burning love is a hunk of love in our minds - ask Andy Lynch at Schroders. It lifts us up. It rocks us on the water - ask Jackson Browne. It pushes us through the astral sky at a terrifying speed. It fills us. It covers us. Sticky banknotes have been known to burn into our faces when the love is really hot. That's why we groove. That's why we love to love - ask Tina Charles. WE ARE THE LORDS OF CASH WHO ARE LOST IN LOVE. It's burning money that loves us. And we love the burning money back.) Thank you, Michael. I'm welling up over here.'