Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Soros Fund Management: assets up 41 per cent!

How about that, eh? While his rivals were losing assets, George Soros was getting more and more and more of them! His firm now has $24 billion in assets under management! That's a 41 per cent increase on last year! How has he done it? It's a mystery.

Er, no, it's not a mystery, actually, O Master. George has been burning in the desert.

No, my child, you are mistaken there. Mr Soros is a cold earth wanderer. He has never wandered in the burning desert, astral or any other kind. Money has never burned within him. It has always been cold, lifeless money with him. Square money, you could say. That's the way he grooves - if you can call it grooving. That's why I said it was a mystery.

I saw him only the other night.

Where, my child?

In the friggin' desert of our dreams! Come on, man, wake up. Don't you know that George is full of love now? He burns now.

Nonsense! You're deluded.


Jesus! Are you serious?

I'm as serious as a heart attack. Don't you remember he tried to get you to go to Davos?

Yeah, but that didn't mean anything.

Yes it did. It meant that he had an open mind about mystical capitalism. But he has grown since then. He has embraced the new reality.

Really? Well, I'll have to look into this. This could be quite a feather in my cap - and Big Herb's, of course. A new recruit!

O Master, does Big Herb have a cap? I've always considered him a trilby-wearing sort of god, myself.

Shut up.