Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Kerstin Lindgren? Elian? Luxembourg?

Well, well, er ... / Right, I'm not sure I can deal with all this. I mean, I have no idea who Kerstin Lindgren is, for starters. And I have no idea what Elian is. 'Never mind.' And I have no idea where Luxembourg is. 'Nonsense, Mikey!' What, Voice? 'You went through Luxembourg once, on a school trip to Germany.' Did I? 'Yes.' How do you know?! 'I know you better than you know yourself, boss.' Bollocks! 'It ain't bollocks. I'm in your head, man. I have full access to your consciousness ness ness.' / Well, he might have a point, dear reader(s). That's the downside of having a disembodied voice working as your intern. But he's cheap!

Anyway ... Elian, in Luxembourg. Let's do some research! What is Elian?

As specialists in corporate services, fund services, private wealth and capital services, Elian has a clear, uncompromising, mystical vision: to continually deliver more value by raising the bar in administration services. [Mystical? Okay. We'll have to take their word for it.]

We work with multi-national corporations, financial institutions, high net worth individuals, various kooks, family offices and investment funds and believe that the best can always be better. [Yes, you can always improve. I agree with that. I know from my guitar playing.]

With over 500 professionals across a network of 11 international offices, covering all time zones, spiritual dimensions and key financial centres, we are able to handle large, demanding and complex engagements but we are always looking to set new industry standards by challenging standard practice. [Standard practice is for squares. I like these guys!]

From technical skills and market understanding to outstanding client service, we are relentless in our pursuit of excellence. [Relentless! They won't rest until they can play like Angus! 'Er ... that's you, boss.' Oh, of course, that's me.]

And, finally, Kerstin Lindgren? Well, she's just joined Elian as the manager of depositary services. 'Nice.' I'm afraid there's not a great deal of personal information on her LinkedIn profile, but she claims to be bilingual. 'Oh dear!' That's all right, Voice. We don't discriminate here.


Anything else?

Well, I got music, man. I can talk/write about that. 'Go on! You know you want to.'

Reader(s), I've got a good plan for moving forward. See if you can dig this: Before midday each day, I'm only allowed to play lead guitar. And after midday, I'm only allowed to play and sing You're Lying. 'Brilliant!' That way, sooner or later, I'll be able to get a decent recording of the last song I need for my demo, and with the lead stuff I'll be able to make progress towards ... Rolling tonight to the guitar bite. 'Just like Angus!'