Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Who is Marc Yaklofsky? What is Franklin Square?

Okay, okay ... one "thing" at a time, please! / Er, Marc Yaklofsky is a man. 'Breathing, living?' He used to work at Nomura, BUT(!) ... now he works at Franklin Square Capital Partners as ... senior vice president of corporate development, believe it or not. 'Ha! / And Franklin Square, boss?' Christ! Give me a chance, Voice. Franklin Square is a leading manager of alternative investment funds. 'Oh.' And they have a way. 'Really? Brilliant!' YES! / But more of them later. Let's concentrate on our Marc, please! 'Fine. Tell us!' I've got his LinkedIn profile here, dear reader(s). There's a very impressive photograph of him, looking all, er ... 'Is he a real person?' Well, he actually reminds me of the Action Man toys I used to play with when I was a child. 'Ah. So you feel incredibly drawn to him then, boss?' Oh, I do! It's strange. Very strange. 'But do his eyes move?' Well, that's the question. I'm glad you asked me that, Voice. THE BIG QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do Marc Yaklofsky's eyes move? As I recall, the cheap dolls didn't have moving eyes. 'Oh no!' It will be a tragedy if our Marc doesn't have moving eyes. He has a good job now, an important job, and his clients need to know that he is an expensive doll with moving eyes. 'They need to know!' Otherwise, they could lose faith in him, and even lose faith in Franklin Square as a company for going so cheap.

Which brings me to ... Franklin Square. These guys have a way! The Franklin Square Way ... Our mission, values, and story. 'Amazing!' Yeah, mission, values ...

It's the culture that interests me though ... We work to foster a culture of accountability, diversity, innovation, integrity and performance. We encourage professional development and healthy lifestyles, and support each other in caring for our loved ones.

My mind is officially blown! They support each other in caring for their loved ones! 'Wow!' You don't get that at Goldman or Point72 or ... anywhere else. 'The world of finance is so cold, Mikey!' People come first, you dig? [Brothers, sisters, one big happy family.] Forget about the money! [Out in the desert. Stoned immaculate.] Money is shit, man! [They found a deserted ranch, no doubt.] Yes, they spit on money! / Soon, oh soon ... There will be a revolution!