Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Trian Fund Management is holding on to the money!

No more redemption songs from Mr Nelson Peltz! 'Eh? What's this all about, boss?'

Oh, let me tell you ...

Trian Fund Management, L.P. is a multi-billion dollar alternative investment management firm, founded in November 2005 by Principals, Nelson Peltz, Peter May and Ed Garden. Leveraging off of the 35+ years' operating experience of its Principals, Trian Partners seeks to invest in high quality but undervalued and under-performing public companies and to work constructively with the management and boards of those companies to significantly enhance value for all shareholders. Trian Partners seeks to improve the long-term earnings power of its portfolio companies through a combination of improved operational execution, strategic re-direction and more efficient capital allocation. Trian Partners, headquartered in New York, NY [Ha! I'm glad Trian put the NY in. So good they named it twice!], has approximately 50 employees, many of whom have been with the Firm since its inception.

Er ... / Firm with a capital "F"?! Whatever. I'm sure they know what they're doing. Makes them sound a bit like the Krays, but never mind. It's their business!

Anyway, from now on, Trian won't be giving money away every quarter. They're telling investors they've got to lock up their money for one, or three, or even five years! 'What about two years, boss? What about four years?' That's not allowed, Voice. 'Why not?' I don't know. I don't make the rules, do I?

And you can just imagine what Bloomberg says about the chief executive and founding partner, Nelson Peltz. 'Oh no. Please, no.' Ha! This person is connected to 12 Board Members in 12 different organizations across 17 different industries. 'Well, that's not too bad, man. I mean, it's better than: This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries.' It still doesn't tell us a lot though, does it? Christ! Those Bloomberg ... tossers! / Get your act together, guys!


Anything else? You won't belief this, dear reader(s), but I have a cheese ... SUB ROLL(!!!) for lunch today. 'A cheese what?!' Sub roll, son. A long roll thing with cheese in it, and tomato, lettuce, etc. 'For fuck's sake! Who do you think you are?!' Ha! I'm going up in the world, my little invisible friend.