Monday, 6 July 2020

Do I want answers to key questions?

Christ. Well, I don't know, really. 'It all depends on the questions, boss.' Yes, Voice. These questions are from a Quant Insight PR email. I've been invited to some webinar. 'Oh.' Yeah.

Anyway, here are the three questions. I'll take them one at a time ...

1: How do you measure your portfolio/single asset macro sensitivities?

Oh God. Uh. I don't have a portfolio, and even if I did ... why would the macro stuff be sensitive? 'And why would you want to measure all that shit, anyway, boss? Life is too short.' They've sent this email to the wrong person, Voice. / Jesus H. - !!! I'm a financial shaman, yeah? Ask me one on chakras, guys.

2: How has macro affected your portfolio during The Thing? In what way? To what extent?

Ha! I don't have a portfolio! How many more times? 'Are you going to this webinar thing then?' No, I'm not. 'Your readers might be interested.' They might be. I don't know if they've even been invited. It's on the fifteenth of July, by the way.

3: How can Qi's unique macro data play a part in your investment strategy, whether you are bottom-up or top-down in style?

Well ... what can I say? I don't have an investment strategy. 'Yes you do! You've put all your money into baked beans.' Shut up, idiot!

Oh, there's a fourth question ...

4: How much longer are you going to put up with mystical voices - total cretins - disrupting you all day long?

'That's not in the email, boss.' Ha, ha, ha!



Anything else? Music? My music?! I might just concentrate on rehearsing And Rain Came Down and Stella for a while. They're my two most commercial songs, and I want the two new songs I'm after to be similar. 'What about This World Don't Mean a Thing, Mikey? That's pretty commercial.' Yeah, but it's a ballad, Voice. I've got enough ballads.

Hypnosis? I'm still doing it. Twice a day. It works better than anything else I've tried. I mean, better than those audiobooks, man. My performing is more consistent now because my moods are stable.

And that Caesar film? It's helping me focus on what's important in life. And I'm naturally Caesarian anyway, so I'm not forcing anything. I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not. 'You and Julius, Mikey. A brotherhood ... of two.' Exactly! A brotherhood of two. Elon's not welcome no more. Let him go off with that Alexander muppet.

Yes, I have a ruthless streak, kook(s). So what?