Monday 5 September 2022

[No. 1,029] Where is the freedom I promised myself?

Nowhere.

And my mind???[1], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[1], and my mind???[2], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[1], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[2], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[1], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[2], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[1], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[2], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[1], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[2], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[1], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[2], and reality can make you ill[1], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[2], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[1], and reality can make you ill[2], and ... would you care???[1], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[2], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[1], and ... would you care???[2], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![1], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into nothingness?[1], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![2], and, please ... tell me![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into no thingness?[2], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[1], and, please ... tell me![2], and, I, I ...[1], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[2], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[1], and, I, I ...[2], and is this me???[1], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[2], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[1], and is this me???[2], and names and faces are ridiculous![1], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[2], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[1], and names and faces are ridiculous![2], and I can't clean ...[1], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[2], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[1], and I can't clean ...[2], and, I know, Voice, I know[1], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[2], and Jesus H. - !!![1], and, I know, Voice, I know[2], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[1], and Jesus H. - !!![2], and ... 'Faster!'[1], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[2], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[1], and ... 'Faster!'[2], and, do you ...[1], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[2], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![1], and, do you ...[2], and ... help![1], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![2], and ... help me, cosmos![1], and ... help![2], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[1], and ... help me, cosmos![2], and ... my trouble![1], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[2], and, listen to me, kooks ...[1], and ... my trouble![2], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[1], and, listen to me, kooks ...[2], and ... 'That's right!'[1], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[2], and ... why can't I have it?![1], and ... 'That's right!'[2], and that's freedom[1], and ... why can't I have it?![2], and this never ENDS[1], and that's freedom[2], and my mind???[3], and this never ENDS[2], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[3], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[3], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[3], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[3], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[3], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[3], and reality can make you ill[3], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[3], and ... would you care???[3], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[3], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into n  o  t  h  i  n  g  n  e  s  s?[3], and, please ... tell me![3], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[3], and, I, I ...[3], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[3], and is this me???[3], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[3], and names and faces are ridiculous![3], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[3], and I can't clean ...[3], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[3], and, I know, Voice, I know[3], and Jesus H. - !!![3], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[3], and ... 'Faster!'[3], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[3], and, do you ...[3], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![3], and ... help![3], and ... help me, cosmos![3], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[3], and ... my trouble![3], and, listen to me, kooks ...[3], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[3], and ... 'That's right!'[3], and ... why can't I have it?![3], and that's freedom[3], and this never ENDS[3], and

And my mind???[1], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[1], and my mind???[2], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[1], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[2], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[1], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[2], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[1], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[2], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[1], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[2], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[1], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[2], and reality can make you ill[1], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[2], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[1], and reality can make you ill[2], and ... would you care???[1], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[2], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[1], and ... would you care???[2], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![1], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into nothingness?[1], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![2], and, please ... tell me![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into no thingness?[2], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[1], and, please ... tell me![2], and, I, I ...[1], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[2], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[1], and, I, I ...[2], and is this me???[1], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[2], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[1], and is this me???[2], and names and faces are ridiculous![1], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[2], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[1], and names and faces are ridiculous![2], and I can't clean ...[1], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[2], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[1], and I can't clean ...[2], and, I know, Voice, I know[1], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[2], and Jesus H. - !!![1], and, I know, Voice, I know[2], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[1], and Jesus H. - !!![2], and ... 'Faster!'[1], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[2], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[1], and ... 'Faster!'[2], and, do you ...[1], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[2], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![1], and, do you ...[2], and ... help![1], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![2], and ... help me, cosmos![1], and ... help![2], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[1], and ... help me, cosmos![2], and ... my trouble![1], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[2], and, listen to me, kooks ...[1], and ... my trouble![2], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[1], and, listen to me, kooks ...[2], and ... 'That's right!'[1], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[2], and ... why can't I have it?![1], and ... 'That's right!'[2], and that's freedom[1], and ... why can't I have it?![2], and this never ENDS[1], and that's freedom[2], and my mind???[3], and this never ENDS[2], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[3], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[3], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[3], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[3], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[3], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[3], and reality can make you ill[3], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[3], and ... would you care???[3], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[3], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into n  o  t  h  i  n  g  n  e  s  s?[3], and, please ... tell me![3], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[3], and, I, I ...[3], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[3], and is this me???[3], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[3], and names and faces are ridiculous![3], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[3], and I can't clean ...[3], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[3], and, I know, Voice, I know[3], and Jesus H. - !!![3], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[3], and ... 'Faster!'[3], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[3], and, do you ...[3], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![3], and ... help![3], and ... help me, cosmos![3], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[3], and ... my trouble![3], and, listen to me, kooks ...[3], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[3], and ... 'That's right!'[3], and ... why can't I have it?![3], and that's freedom[3], and this never ENDS[3], and

And my mind???[1], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[1], and my mind???[2], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[1], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[2], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[1], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[2], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[1], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[2], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[1], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[2], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[1], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[2], and reality can make you ill[1], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[2], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[1], and reality can make you ill[2], and ... would you care???[1], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[2], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[1], and ... would you care???[2], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![1], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into nothingness?[1], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![2], and, please ... tell me![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into no thingness?[2], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[1], and, please ... tell me![2], and, I, I ...[1], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[2], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[1], and, I, I ...[2], and is this me???[1], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[2], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[1], and is this me???[2], and names and faces are ridiculous![1], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[2], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[1], and names and faces are ridiculous![2], and I can't clean ...[1], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[2], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[1], and I can't clean ...[2], and, I know, Voice, I know[1], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[2], and Jesus H. - !!![1], and, I know, Voice, I know[2], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[1], and Jesus H. - !!![2], and ... 'Faster!'[1], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[2], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[1], and ... 'Faster!'[2], and, do you ...[1], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[2], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![1], and, do you ...[2], and ... help![1], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![2], and ... help me, cosmos![1], and ... help![2], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[1], and ... help me, cosmos![2], and ... my trouble![1], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[2], and, listen to me, kooks ...[1], and ... my trouble![2], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[1], and, listen to me, kooks ...[2], and ... 'That's right!'[1], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[2], and ... why can't I have it?![1], and ... 'That's right!'[2], and that's freedom[1], and ... why can't I have it?![2], and this never ENDS[1], and that's freedom[2], and my mind???[3], and this never ENDS[2], and don't ask, kooks ... just don't ask ... unless ...[3], and, Christ ... you want to hear about Jammie Dodgers, squirrels, old TV shows, guitar strings, dumbbells ... ???[3], and I'm not listening to any audiobooks[3], and visions come and visions go ... and voices come and voices go ...[3], and ... 'Oh, hello!'[3], and it's all ... chaos, chaos, chaos ... words, words, words ... images, images, images[3], and reality can make you ill[3], and I could tell you ... egg sandwich / and I could tell you ... The Best of Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel[3], and ... would you care???[3], and, and, and ... Voice! / and ... 'Would they understand the pain of having such a consciousness?'[3], and when I go to sleep at night ... weird dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and can I ... break it all down into n  o  t  h  i  n  g  n  e  s  s?[3], and, please ... tell me![3], and dolphins have never heard of Coca-Cola[3], and, I, I ...[3], and do you, you, you ... know, know, know ... what I mean?[3], and is this me???[3], and swans would frown at you, man, if, uh ... you showed them a picture of Giant Haystacks[3], and names and faces are ridiculous![3], and, actually ... whatever happened to my signed photograph of Roger Moore?[3], and I can't clean ...[3], and ... 'But, but, but ... that's what you invented the dizzy life for!'[3], and, I know, Voice, I know[3], and Jesus H. - !!![3], and I will need to spin harder! ... ???[3], and ... 'Faster!'[3], and I just ... I can't get clean in a messy world of things[3], and, do you ...[3], and the cosmos knows what I'm talking about! / and, yes, yes, yes ... the cosmos knows![3], and ... help![3], and ... help me, cosmos![3], and ... 'You're too sensitive, Mikey, that's your trouble'[3], and ... my trouble![3], and, listen to me, kooks ...[3], and an empty head is a clean soul is a fucking beautiful life, you dig?[3], and ... 'That's right!'[3], and ... why can't I have it?![3], and that's freedom[3], and this never ENDS[3], and