Monday 1 September 2014

Mark Julio is working at Sarasin & Partners

Er ... / 'Never heard of him, boss.' What, Voice?! You've never heard of Mark "Iglesias" Julio? 'Oh, I've heard of him, but you said his name was Mark Julio.' Well, that's what they call him at work. I doubt they know about his evening activities, crooning in various bars and nightclubs. 'Would he get the sack if they found out?' Time will tell. I mean, the cat's out of the bag now, ain't it?

Anyway, our Mark has got himself a new job at Sarasin & Partners as manager of the global thematic equity team - for his sins. He used to be at Ignis - for ... you get the picture. It's all the womanising, you see. 'Terrible.' / Oh. 'What?' For those of you who don't know and may not even care, Sarasin & Partners is a London-based asset management group that manages investments on behalf of charities, institutions, intermediaries, pension funds, and private clients from the UK and, er, other places ... around the world, like. 'Very impressive!' Oh yes. It is very impressive. And Sarasin has a long-term vision, too. 'Brilliant!' These geezers think ten years ahead! 'Eh?! Ten years?! How do they do that, then?' Christ knows, mate. I'm the world's foremost financial shaman and I can't manage it. / Oh. 'What?' And chief executive Guy Monsoon reckons that they are - wait for it - stewards and guardians. As if! 'You mean, Guy Monson.' Whatever. Yeah, Guy Mon. 'No, boss, Guy Monson.' Oh, I get you. I thought you said, You mean, Guy Mon, son. 'Ha!' / We have a right laugh here, don't we, reader(s)?

Oh!!! 'What?' By the way, reader(s), don't bother going to Mark Julio's LinkedIn profile. 'No?' No, don't do that! There's nothing there - which is for the best, I suppose. ('Maybe you should sign in, Mikey.' Forget about it. I'll never sign in, Voice.) You know, the singing and that. All the women.

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Anything else? No! Do me a favour. Two posts today. What more do you want? Blood? Fire?

Laters ...