Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Warburg Pincus has stolen Jonas Agesand from the Blackstone Group!

Yeah, Jonas Agesand has been stolen, or kidnapped! 'Hired.' What, Voice? 'Who are you kidding, Mikey? You know how boring finance is. Jonas hasn't been stolen. He hasn't been kidnapped. Warburg Pincus has hired him to do some investor relations/business development nonsense, and that's it. That's as glamorous or as exciting as it gets.' Really? How do you know Jonas isn't a financial shaman? 'Have you seen a picture of him? He's no shaman.' Maybe Jonas has spent ages in the sand, in the desert. Have you thought of that? 'No, boss. No, I haven't.' Ages in the sand. Agesand, yeah? 'What are you having for lunch, Mikey?' Shut up! Forget lunch! Lunch is for wimps.


Oh, Warburg Pincus? Let's concentrate on Warburg Pincus. I've only written about this firm once before, and then only briefly. The post was hijacked by the old mystical child. 'Old mystical child?' He was the voice before you. I managed to get rid of him. 'You'll never get rid of me.' Go away! / Warburg Pincus. Yeah. At Warburg Pincus, private equity investing is our only business. Established in 1966, Warburg Pincus has invested more than $50 billion in over 720 companies in more than 35 countries around the world. The firm’s strategy combines deep industry expertise and local market experience; the flexibility to support all stages of company development; an insane desire to get a-ROUND, a long-term investment horizon; and fully aligned interests among our portfolio company management, limited partners and general partners. Partnering with superior management teams, Warburg Pincus helps companies formulate strategy, conceptualize and implement suitable financing structures and recruit talented executives.

Pretty interesting, eh? I particularly like the reference to getting a-ROUND. These guys have been reading my blog! 'Have they?! Really, boss?' Yes, Voice, they have. And I'll do a number on them later. No. 267. 'I can't wait!' Don't be like that.


Music? I’m listening to November Rain by Guns N' Roses. Why? Because it's November, and it was raining earlier.

I went to the shops yesterday, to get some trainers. Yeah. Oxford Street, Regent Street, Bond Street. I went all over. / I saw that Samantha Cameron. She looked at me, too. I reckon she likes me. She's probably had enough of that idiot she's with. Shame. I'm still in love with my angel, my Gilly, Gilly. Never mind.

Oh, and I saw that Bill Bailey in Chiswick the other week. I hope he doesn't like me. I mean, I'm not crazy about his hair.