Thursday, 27 November 2014

Nigel Wilson says we've got to talk about money

Eh? What?! / Nigel, son, that's all we ever talk about! / What's wrong with this guy? Oh dear. Christ. 'Unbelievable!' Our Nige is group chief executive of Legal & General Group, apparently.

Most of all, however, if we want to break the Great British Money Taboo, we must all start talking about money, beginning right now. Why not ask your friends for their opinion? More of this nonsense!

Great British Money Taboo? I mean ... 'What's that, Mikey?' I don't know, man. The guy's crazy. 'We talk about money all the time.' Of course we do! Most normal people do. / And as for asking my friends, I can't phone around all my mates and say that Nigel Wilson has told me I've got to get their opinion - right now! 'They could be eating their dinner, boss.' Yeah. 'They might be meditating or chanting or something, if they've finished their dinner.' Yeah. And I'm supposed to disturb them? 'They'll tell you to piss off.' No! It ain't happening. This taboo is all in Nigel's head. His imagination is running wild!

'I know what happened, man.' What, Voice? 'Some nutjob at City A.M. thought it would be a good idea to get our Nige to write something for the paper, website, or whatever.' Oh, right. So they just cooked this nonsense up, I suppose. 'It's something to pass the time. And these media people have got to earn a living. Can we blame them?' Well ...

It might be a regular column he has. / It just seems so pointless, dear reader(s), you know? Making stuff up, and pretending it's real. No one cares.

There is no taboo. Let's forget it.


Thank God we all have pubs to go to, eh?