Thursday 20 November 2014

What on earth is Twelve Lions Capital?!

I was going to call this post, Who on earth is Marc Schneider?! ... but I'm always doing that sort of thing. "Who is he?"/"Who is she?" It gets boring, man. 'So you decided to go with, What on earth is Twelve Lions Capital?!' Yeah. 'You're getting adventurous in your old age, boss.' / Well, Twelve Lions Capital is a new hedge founded by ... 'Er, let me guess, er ... Marc ... Marc, someone, er ... Marc Schneider!' Yes! Congratulations, Voice. 'Do I win a prize?' No. 'Oh.' Prize?! Ha! Am I made of fucking money?

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Oh, a great article by Seumas Milne here, on austerity. 'What about the hedge fund?!' It hasn't launched yet, man. It's still pie in the sky, even if it does have a name. And I ain't got nothing else to say about it. Well, it's all distressed debt stuff. That should satisfy my readers. 'Really?' Voice, they come here for the rock and roll these days. I'm attracting a new crowd. 'Whatever. / Nice article by Seumas!' Oh yeah. Big time. Why don't we see writing like this in the financial papers and websites? 'Because they're all working for the 1 per cent.' Christ! Not those 1 per cent bastards again! Something's got to be done about them. 'What do you have in mind?' REVOLUTION!!!

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No, I don't want revolution, man. Like Lennon, you can count me in, and you can count me out. I'm confused. Besides, I need the capitalist system to stay intact to support my next career as international superstar and man of rock!

However, there's one thing I do know: things will be different in the afterlife.

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Lunch? What is it with you people?! It's none of your business what I'm having for lunch. 'Tell them about the luxury egg sandwich, Mikey.' NO!!!