Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Jonathan Yalmokas and Charlotte Burkeman will follow Stuart Hendel to Bank of America

I have a feeling about these two. Something deep inside. Their boss, Stuart Hendel, has resigned from UBS. He was a global head, a big one, of the Swiss bank's prime brokerage unit. But that wasn't good enough for him. Men like Mr Hendel are never satisfied. So he will be joining Bank of America in June. He will head the American bank's global prime brokerage unit. And then he will be happy for a while. But men like Mr Hendel are never happy for long. I have some insight into his character. I have a feeling about him. In my gut. Or my heart. We could go as far as my head. I wouldn't rule it out, my head. There may even be visions of him up there, not just my feelings and these words. When I think of someone, enough, with enough concentration, I often see them as well. And it spreads to my dreams. I have had two marvellous conversations with my angel recently, while I was sleeping. She is very warm, and very caring. I don't know if I will dream of Mr Hendel any time soon. I hope not. I want to keep the space free. It's no reflection on Mr Hendel. Can I call him Stuart? Of course I can! I don't need permission. It's no reflection on Stuart. I just want to keep the space free. She could come back at any moment, any moment at night.

Jonathan Yalmokas and Charlotte Burkeman interest me greatly. They resigned with Stuart. What are they planning? It's pretty obvious they want to be with Stuart, again, over and over. It will go on. Maybe one day Stuart will leave Bank of America for Goldman or Barclays or God knows which bank, and they will be there too, never leaving his side, stuck to him, obsessed, sick with love, or is it (will it be) hatred? Do they want to ruin his life? It's unlikely. Oh, maybe they were sent from hell! Maybe they are hellhounds. It's not impossible. But it is unlikely. I know hellhounds. Jonathan and Charlotte do not strike me as the sort. I think they love him. I think they want him in ways he would find disturbing, if only he knew, if only he could see. As for hell, I'm trying to leave it behind with all the other stuff. We make our own hell, and our own heaven. This is my reality. Or it will be my reality. Early days yet. You are my witnesses. I'm going to get better. Actually, I'm already better. I'm going to get stronger. You could say that I have been through a classic shaman's sickness. (I didn't realize. This is the second time. Is that common? I don't know. I'll have to do some research.) There is chaos and insanity, and you get close to death, then you recover. New wisdom, new powers! No one will be able to touch me from now on.

I remember the days of chaos. I was young and stupid. How old are Jonathan and Charlotte? I'm not saying they're going through the same thing I went through. I don't know enough about them. I just hope Stuart is being responsible. They look up to him. If he were to put his hand in the fire, he'd walk away unharmed. That's experience. Jonathan and Charlotte, though, would probably ... I don't know these people. They are strangers.

That's enough for today. I think I'm making progress.