Monday 30 May 2016

Bridgewater Associates gets state aid

Bloody hell! I never thought we would see the day when Ray Dalio ended up on welfare. I know that times are hard for hedge funds right now, but this is ridiculous. Yes, dear reader, the State of Connecticut is paying Bridgewater $22 million to stay in the state. Oh, please don't go. We need you here. And we don't want to see you homeless, Ray, eating your food out of bins. Here's $22 million to tide you over.

Unbelievable! $22 million! How many cans of baked beans can you buy with that? It's just crazy, man! I mean, does Ray need - 'Oh, boss!' What, Voice? 'Do you know what day it is?' Of course I do. It's Monday. 'Yeah, bank holiday Monday.' What?! Oh shit! 'Yeah, take it easy, man. Forget about Mr Dalio and Bridgewater. Write about your music or something.' Well ...

Well, well, well. / Music? Uh, God, forgive me, I need to say something about the political situation in this country BECAUSE(!) ... it's really starting to amuse me, you dig? Usually, the Conservatives are united in their contempt for the ordinary people of Great Britain. However, they're at each other's throats right now. We're concerned about the poor. The government is only concerned about Goldman Sachs. Oh, the Brexiters are lying scum! They'll ruin this country. No, the government is lying! They're making slaves of us all. / 'Ha!' And on and on and on. Absolutely beautiful. I hope these arguments will continue after the referendum. Or is that too much to hope for? 'It's like a feud in a Mafia family, Mikey. All these capos want to whack the Don and take over. Very entertaining!' Yes, and it gets better, man. Nineteen different police forces are investigating the Tories at the moment. I mean, investigating twenty-eight MPs. 'Ha! Where will it all end?' Er ... in chaos, probably. The Labour Party should be roaring ahead, really. It's just a shame that Jeremy Corbyn would rather be on his allotment with his vegetables.


Music? My music? I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY!!! Just let me get on with it, yeah? / Laters.