Thursday, 3 September 2015

Bill Gross says put everything into cash!

Well, that's what I'm doing, man. I've taken all my money out of my building society account, and I'm selling everything. 'Everything?! What are you selling, boss?' Er ... old CDs, DVDs, a couple of crappy guitars, an old laptop - 'What about your FG730S?' Don't be ridiculous, Voice! I'm not selling my Yamaha.

And once I've got all my cash together I'm going to bury it in the garden. 'Oh, that's clever, that is.' Yeah. 'Because your average idiot would just put it under the mattress.' Ha! The first place that robbers look! No, I'm too smart.

Should we listen to Bill Gross though? 'Well ...' Let's not forget he's the man who gave us global growth pies and inflatable dragons.

Oh, I won't be selling my Auf Wiedersehen, Pet DVDs. I've got some VHS videos I'd like to get rid of. Like Jaws and The Office. 'No one wants to buy that shit, Mikey.' What are you talking about?! Jaws is a bloody good film. 'I mean VHS videos.'

Bill Gross has been saying something about corporate bonds as well. 'Corporate bonds? What?' I don't know. Our Bill lives in a world of his own.

Dear reader(s), uh ... would you, er, like to buy an old Brother word processor? 'Ha!' I have two. 'Ha! Ha! Good luck!' Shut it, you prat!

Oh, he seems to think the global economy is totally screwed up. 'Bill's got that right.' Well, nothing lasts forever.

I think ... we just need to find a nice cave. Somewhere warm, you know? 'Malibu?' Malibu?! Caves are too expensive there, man. 'Even the caves?!' Yes.


Music? I found a website yesterday that has the keys for every song on the Layla album. This means I can jam along now with Eric and Duane, like I'm a part of the band. 'Brilliant!' And the thing is, I managed to guess the key (A major) for Key to the Highway. So, my "ear" is getting better. 'What's wrong with your ear, boss?' Nothing. Shut up!