Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Hobson Barnes has joined Aspect Capital

Er ... 'I'll think you'll find, boss, that his name is Barnes Hobson.' Nonsense, Voice! And it's not a "he", it's an "it". 'What?!' It's an "it". 'Eh? What is?!' Hobson Barnes. 'A wild animal, you're saying? Or maybe some monster from your subconscious, like the other night?' No, Hobson Barnes is a firm. This is another one of those mergers. 'Don't be ridiculous, Mikey! I'm telling you that Barnes Hobson is a man. I've seen his LinkedIn profile. He's real! He has over five hundred connections and -' Oh, and that makes him real, does it? Having over five hundred connections on LinkedIn? Ha! Son, you need to get out more. Hardly anyone is "real" on LinkedIn, yeah? Especially not the lost souls with more than five hundred connections. / Now, piss off!

I'm sorry, dear reader(s), I'm really not in the mood for The Voice today. Christ! Just another idiot giving me grief. What have I done to deserve it? Bad karma? I don't know.

Oh, Aspect Capital. The firm has philosophy. I love it when a firm has philosophy. See if you can dig this: Aspect's investment philosophy has remained consistent since the company's inception and focuses on a mystical approach to investment driven by Aspect's belief that market prices are not random but display persistent, mystically measurable and predictable behaviour and idiosyncrasies. The most obvious of these effects is the propensity of market prices to display serial auto-correlation (i.e. to trend) as a result of a range of supernatural realities. Through sophisticated shamanic research and a disciplined approach, these effects can be successfully identified and profitably exploited. / So, not a bad bunch of lads, then. 'And lasses, Mikey.' Oh, you're back, Voice. There is a girl, actually, on the philosophy page of their website. They've been very clever though. You can only get a vague idea of what she's like through a window. 'Oh, that's clever!' Yes. If you want a better look, you'll have to visit their office. And that's when they'll sell you something, I suppose. 'Bastards!' Ha!


Well, well ... / Anyway, that's enough of that. Is there anything else? 'Music!' Music? I'm listening to Elliott Smith. Most of his songs are pretty weak (in my opinion) but his best songs are brilliant: Between the Bars, Miss Misery, Talking to Mary, Go By, Clementine, Alphabet Town. / Speaking of weak songs, I've decided to scrap my Gilly, Gilly. That leaves me with three "great" songs plus two pieces of music which might become great songs with the right lyrics. I want to get to six complete songs before Christmas. It's a slow process, but I'm trying to write to the highest standards, you dig? (And I've been concentrating on improving my guitar playing this last year and a half, remember.) / If you're a recording artist, weak songs are unavoidable. However, if I decide to be a writer for others my high standards must be maintained.

Lunch? Luxury egg sandwich from the petrol station. Tell me I'm not living in style!