Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Stephen Mohan? IFDS?

Oh, Jesus Christ! Really? / I don't know what's going on, and I'm a bit depressed today, but I'm going to try my best to make some sense out of this ... "story". 'Ha!' Apparently, there is a man. They call him Stephen Mohan. And there's a company, too. They call it IFDS. Something to do with platforms, I imagine. I don't actually know. 'A train company, boss?' That's what I thought at first, Voice. I genuinely thought that Stephen may be one of the guards on the platform, you know? 'Yeah. It makes sense.' Well, no ... because this is a finance blog, and Stephen is a man who works in finance ... ??? / Anyway, LinkedIn is always a big help in situations like this: Bored level leader, delivering major improvements - strategic, operational, commercial and governance. Engineering ... 'Er ... so he's fixing the trains?' That's a very skilled job. Fixing the platforms, maybe. I'm not sure. 'Why is he bored? You said he's bored.' Well, wouldn't you be? Our Stephen wants a job in finance. He bloody hates train stations, man!

Let me see, the firm ... IFDS? We are a leading provider of investor and policyholder outsourcing solutions to the European domestic, cross border, liquidity and equity markets. 'Mikey, that's not train stations.' No. No, it's, er, so confusing. International Financial Data Services. They have solutions for fund managers and platform providers. 'So it is finance, then?' I suppose so, Voice. / Oh God. I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), I regret starting this post. 'Ha!' I don't understand what Mr Mohan is mixed up in, and I have no desire to find out. I had a pretty rough night, last night. 'Oh.' I didn't get much sleep. And I can't concentrate now. I've got a cheese sandwich for lunch. This afternoon, I might try to write the lyrics for my new tune. / Apologies to our Stephen. I mean, it's his big moment, ain't it? He gets a new job as, er ... 'It says chief operating officer here, boss.' Where? 'Here.' Okay. Yeah, reader(s), apparently he's a COO. It sounds quite important. Very important role, no doubt! Mr Mohan deserves a better write-up than this. But I am very tired, and very depressed. I think I may be coming down, down already, from the manic high of Sunday, getting that new piece of music, you dig? And so I'm in a manic low until this afternoon, hopefully, when I may be high again, like a fucking rollercoaster, or a kite against the moon, just touching the moon ... for crying out loud! Enough?!


Well, that's enough, my friend(s). Come back tomorrow, if you like this sort of thing. / Laters.