Monday, 13 September 2010


Fundsmith! What a great name for a fund! I wonder who it's named after. Probably someone called Smith. Someone with a massive ego, no doubt. But there's nothing wrong with that. I love people with massive egos. Massive egos make the world go round.

This Smith character will probably invest £20 million of his own money in Fundsmith. Just a feeling I have. And the fund will allow retail and institutional investors to invest alongside him/her, this Smith. [Probably him.] That's what I reckon, anyway.

O Master, who do we know called Smith?

O my child, it's a mystery. Maybe he's the shy, retiring type. Maybe I've got him all wrong. No one knows who it is. He could be a man lost in endless astral night. And it could have been his choice. He may have wanted to get lost. But he left his name behind! A gift to the world! Smith!

O Master, it could be Terry Fund!

No, it's not Terry Fund. What a ridiculous name! Is there such a person?

You never know.

No, Smith. John Smith? He could be anybody. Does it matter who it is? A new fund! That's the important thing. A new fund!

Terry Fundsmith?

O my child, you're clutching at straws now. There is no Terry Fundsmith. What an absurd idea! How do you think of these things? Terry Fundsmith! Madness!

O Master, it could be the man with the decapitated owl!!!

My God! You know, you might be right. It could very well be the man who had that owl's head forced into his mouth to shut him up. It's got to be him!

Are you going to tell your readers?

Oh, my readers know. They're not stupid.