Wednesday, 8 September 2010

SEC charges Neal R. Greenberg with recommending hedge funds

Yes, investment adviser Neal R. Greenberg has been charged by the SEC with recommending hedge funds to all and sundry. Well, not 'all and sundry'. I just love that phrase. No, he was recommending hedge funds to the old and infirm. But is it a crime? Is it a crime to recommend hedge funds now?

'The SEC's Division of Enforcement alleges that Greenberg falsely stated that the Agile hedge funds offered and managed by his two investment advisory firms were suitable for conservative investors who were retired or nearing retirement. However, the Agile hedge funds used leverage and concentrated in a small number of investments. The funds suffered substantial losses in September 2008 and ceased redemptions to investors. The SEC Division of Enforcement further alleges that the Agile hedge funds improperly collected approximately $2 million in management and performance fees that were not adequately disclosed to investors.' More here.

Oh, okay, fair enough. He collected $2 million in management and performance fees without letting his clients know - adequately. And the funds weren't suitable for conservative investors. I have to say that the SEC has got it right for once. Well done, lads at the SEC! And lasses! We shouldn't forget the girls. They do a great job as well. Although I'm not sure any were involved in this investigation. John Mulhern and Jay Scoggins were the ones. Jay is a man's name, isn't it? You never know in America.

That's the end of this post, then.

O Master, isn't there a mystical angle to this story?

O my child, you're wondering if I've seen Mr Greenberg burning with money in the astral desert of our love.


No, I haven't.

Oh. Was he working for Jack Pickles?

Jack Pickles? The world's most demonic financier? That evil bastard who has his fingers in almost every corrupt pie in the world?


No, Mr Greenberg wasn't working for Jack. He's just a run-of-the-mill investment adviser who has got himself into a spot of bother. It's not a very exciting story, to be honest with you.

What the hell's going on then?

I'm pretending that this is one of those square blogs, you know, where people write all day long about finance - in a serious way - like anyone gives a shit.

Oh, I get you. Nice one! Just one thing though ...


Your having a conversation with me, a disembodied mystical voice, rather ruins the effect, wouldn't you say?

Yes, I would say that, my child, so why don't you fuck off?


Dear reader, it started off so well, didn't it? However, I think I have proved to everyone's satisfaction that I can be mindlessly boring when I want to be. But you can't legislate for mystical children interrupting you while you write.