Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Nathalie Dauriac-Stoebe has lured Mark Elliot away from Barclays Wealth

I don't know how (or why), but the lovely Nathalie Dauriac-Stoebe has managed to lure Mark Elliot away from Barclays Wealth. He was very happy there. Now he is facing the unknown at Signia Wealth, where Nathalie is the chief executive. And Mark isn't the first. Apparently, nineteen people have been lured away from other firms while the lovely Nathalie has been in charge. How does she do it?

Well, she could certainly lure me away from anywhere, and from any situation. I don't how she would do it, mind. Maybe she would use mystical powers greater than my own. No, impossible! There must be something I am missing.

Oh, she could certainly lure me away. If I were in the desert at night, sitting around a campfire with my dear friend Bobby Diamond, and the moon was out, and a gentle breeze was caressing my face - and Bobby's, and Bobby and I were having a real heart-to-heart, getting to truly know each other in an intensely intimate but manly way with no hint of anything inappropriate, and then - suddenly - Nathalie's soft voice could just be heard in the distance, 'Michael, come to me, come here', I would abandon Bobby to his fate, and I would run in the direction of that voice with absolute desperation, with a mad yearning to reach the body from whence the voice had come. And Bobby wouldn't mind, not a bit. He would understand, and his fate would be nothing more sinister than his having to find his own way home. Not what you would call a tragedy, really, more a slight inconvenience.

O Master, so Nathalie would use her soft, seductive voice? That's how she would do it!

O my child, she would use her voice, yes, but that doesn't explain anything. How would her voice have the power to lure me away? That's the question. Many women call me in my desert nights and City days, but I don't just drop everything and run to them.

Don't worry about it, O Master. Nathalie hasn't called you yet, and so you haven't had the opportunity to run to her. This is all academic. She may not even have any interest in luring you away from your challenging life and great responsibilities. I reckon you're safe, myself. Cheer up!

O my child, you're a fool! What makes you think I want to be safe? How do you know I wouldn't like to be lured away? My power is a burden. Let another human being have the power for a change. Let someone else call the shots. I could be like a little boat tossed on the waves of a raging sea!


Leave me, child! If you cannot understand my passions, my desires, what use are you? Are you a help or a hindrance? What are you, child?

I'm just a fucking voice, mate. It's not as if I’m getting paid for this, is it?

Be gone, cretin! You're not the voice I want, and need.