Monday 5 October 2015

Chris Lynas has retired from Smith & Williamson

It's all right for some, ain't it? [I suppose. Maybe ...] But we can't all retire. Some of us have to keep on working. You won't see me on the golf course today, dear reader(s). 'We won't see you on the golf course any day, boss.' No, Voice. Because I hate golf. I really hate it. 'Ha!' But I'm sure Chris Lynas loves golf. 'Of course he does!' I bet he's spent the last twenty-five years dreaming about golf. 'As well as working at Smith & Williamson.' Oh yes, twenty-five years at one firm. Our Chris ended up as head of fixed interest too, which isn't bad, is it? 'It's good!' It's very good. It's brilliant! Unfortunately, I couldn't find out much about the man. I don't think Chris is on LinkedIn. 'He doesn't need to be now.' Well, I can't imagine he was ever on it. He's not the sort. 'When are you going to join LinkedIn, Mikey?' Er ... 'I mean, you just look at the profiles you find from Google search. You don't go in ... DEEP(!), man!!!' When will I join? Let me think. When I lose my soul, Voice. How about that? That's when. 'Oh.' / Anyway, I thought Smith & Williamson might have some information on our Chris. So I followed a link from Google but all I got was some 404 nonsense. 'They've taken it down! Erased all traces of him!' Yeah. I can't believe it. My God! It's a disgrace. After twenty-five years, this is what happens ... 'Chris won't care! Not on the golf course.' Oh, I hope he is on the golf course, Voice. For his sake, you know? 'Yeah.' I hope he's not brooding at home, thinking about the 404 shit and plotting his revenge ... / No! You've got to move on, Chris! Let it go! Forget them! They're bastards.

...

Anything else? 'Music!' I’m listening to Van Halen, for my sins. Best of, Volume 1. I bought it yesterday. 'Why?!' I just wanted to check out Eddie's guitar playing, man. I don't like it. Great technical skill, but no feeling, you dig? Not like Eric Clapton, who was a big influence on Eddie, strangely. / And the songwriting is very poor. Van Halen only have one classic, Jump. I've got it on repeat ...

My guitar? Oh, I'm still playing, reader(s), but I'm thinking more and more that it's a mug's game. I would be better off concentrating on writing songs - [?]. / I don't know. At least I'm a lot better now than I was eighteen months ago. You need a bit of skill on an instrument to be a songwriter.