Thursday, 10 January 2008

Bear Stearns looking for a partner

Bear Stearns, due to recent losses, is desperately searching for a partner. It has been reported that the bank held talks with Fortress Investments, but nothing happened. So, what will happen now? Will Bear Stearns find a suitable partner, or will it be sold to a bigger bank?

I have been speaking to Tatum Jones from the British merchant bank Dodger Coombes, and she said, 'We wouldn't want a partnership with Bear Stearns, but we wouldn't mind some sort of deal where we could share our financial shamans and money mystics with them. That would really help them out, and also be a good way of promoting mystical capitalism in the US. As you know, Dodger Coombes employs more mystics and shamans than any bank in the world, and a lot of people have ridiculed us for that. But look how much money we're making! A few years from now Dodger Coombes will be as respected as Goldman Sachs - that's a promise.'