Monday 7 January 2008

Close Brothers defections

Close Brothers has been having a rough time of it lately. The latest news is that five members of its investment trust team have done a runner and joined Numis. I don't understand this. Close Brothers is a good bank with some excellent shamans and mystics. The five deserters are Charles Cade, Simon Elliott, David Benda, Nathan Brown and Chris Gook.

I have been speaking to Arthur Simmons from the Chaos College of Finance, and he told me, 'These defections will not harm Close Brothers in the long term. I know all the new Numis hires and not one of them has any training whatsoever in financial shamanism. As mystical capitalism is the way of the future, all Close Brothers has got to do now is concentrate on the spiritual side of its operations. The money will pour in.'