Thursday, 26 August 2010

Juan Jose Fernandez Garcia and Luis Martin Caro Sanchez have been frozen by the SEC!

Yes, a very disturbing development. Traders Juan Jose Fernandez Garcia [analyst] and Luis Martin Caro Sanchez made a killing recently after they 'purchased - on the basis of material, non-public information about the impending tender offer - hundreds of "out-of-the-money" call option contracts for stock in Potash in the days leading up to the public announcement of BHP's bid on August 17'. Allegedly, of course. Where's the proof?

If you can believe what the SEC says, it seems the assets of these two traders have been frozen. Well, I can believe it. But there is more. I have it on very good authority that those [outlandish] eh? cold earth wanderers at the SEC have literally frozen Juan Jose Fernandez Garcia and Luis Martin Caro Sanchez. Not physically. No, not physically. Their physical bodies haven't been touched. That would leave the SEC open to charges of abuse, even torture. No, the SEC has been very clever. It has frozen the men astrally. O Master, is there such a word? O my child, we can argue about that later. Shakespeare was always inventing words. Why should I be any different? Even Sarah Palin does it. But back to the two Spanish guys. Oh, did I tell you that Juan Jose Fernandez Garcia is a big cheese at Banco Santander? The banco has suspended him. I don't know what it has suspended him from. The ceiling? Who knows?! I'm concentrating on the SEC and its - O Master, there is such a word as 'astrally'. I've just checked - my child, please, I'm trying to concentrate. And have some consideration for my readers. Jesus! I AM CONCENTRATING ON WHAT THE SEC HAS DONE TO THESE SPANISH TRADERS. It has frozen them in the desert of our love. There is no fire. No passion. Not for them. Only ice. Ice is their reward for a lifetime's commitment to the trading life. Outrageous!

How on its cold earth did the SEC manage to do this? It doesn't have the power to go into the burning desert and freeze anyone it fancies. SOMEONE IS BEHIND THIS. Not Jack Pickles. He would never work with the SEC. But it must be someone rather impressive. A man - or woman, let's not be sexist - of great power. Unfortunately, the person who tipped me off about the true frozen nature of these two senors has no idea who it could be. Who could it be? Someone with a warped idea of what morality is, that's for sure. All earnings are good earnings. All money is good money. Isn't that what we have learnt from the example of Big Herb? He died for our money. Let us not dishonour him.