Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Torbjorn Ranta is an investment manager

Some of you may find this slightly disturbing, but Torbjorn Ranta has left Banque Invik Corporate Finance to join Alpcot Capital Management as an investment manager. Yes, he is an investment manager. That is what he does for a living. Of course, some of you will be thrilled. You will not be disturbed in the slightest.

However, imagine I were to tell you that Mr Ranta was not an investment manager at all. Imagine if I were to tell you that no one - not even Mr Ranta himself - knew what he did for a living. How disturbing, no, terrifying, would that be?

Well, Mr Ranta is an investment manager. So we can all relax. For a while. It makes us feel good, doesn't it, knowing who everyone is and what they do for a living? I am Michael Fowke. I am the world's foremost financial shaman and a visionary blogger. That's my identity. I can only get to sleep at night because I have a firm grip on the reality of my situation. But when I go to sleep, when we go to sleep ...

... oh, that is a another matter. The dreams we have tear us away from our 'lives'. We see ourselves in extraordinary situations. We realize we are not who we say we are, and who other people say we are. We realize we have no names, no careers, no families, and no countries. We are drops of water in a river; and that river is running towards the sea of death, which is actually eternal life, so we shouldn't get upset, unless of course we are particularly attached to the lives we lead when we are awake. But, dear reader(s), maybe I am presuming too much. I have no idea who you are. Maybe you never dream. There are such people. They do exist. Are you one of them?

Would you be reading this blog if you were one of them? I suppose you could be passing through. Maybe you entered 'Torbjorn Ranta' into a search engine. You're an old friend or work colleague of his, and you're wondering what he's getting up to. Has he left Banque Invik Corporate Finance yet? Has he got a new job? Now you are here, and someone you have probably never heard of is telling you that you have no name, no career, no family, and no country. You believe you have all those things. Oh, anyone can believe anything! But 'Michael Fowke' is telling you the awful truth about yourself. It can't be easy.

No, it can't be easy. Why in the name of Christ did I type 'Torbjorn Ranta' into Google?! O stranger, don't be too hard on yourself. You weren't to know. You had no idea that beyond that search result there was a sociopath waiting for you, intent on tearing away all your illusions, leaving you naked in a reality you never knew existed. But I mean(t) no harm. You'll thank me one day.