Monday, 16 August 2010

Voras Capital Management: a new hedge fund!

Oh, this is exciting! A new hedge fund! According to Financial News/Deal Journal, it has lifted off with Zoe Cruz in charge: 'Cruz, who has been fund raising for nine months, has raised $200 million in total for Voras, according to people close to the firm, and has established two separate funds. One, a global macro strategy, is run by Cruz herself; the other, a credit opportunities fund, is managed by Ellen Brunsberg.'

Well, as this is a very difficult time to be launching a new hedge fund, I reckon a mystical blessing is in order.

Might do more harm than good.

Shut up! When did you get so negative? Here goes -

O Big Herb, O Ganesh the elephant god, O ghosts of the dead financiers, bless this new hedge fund, Voras Capital Management. Make sure Zoe Cruz and Ellen Brunsberg burn with money in the astral desert of our love. And I don't want any sexist nonsense! Come on, guys. There aren't enough female financial shamans. You can count them on the fingers of two hands. Oh, Ganesh, mate, I don't care how many hands you have. This is no laughing matter! Zoe and Ellen have definitely got what it takes to make it on the astral plane. So give them a chance. You can start off by blessing Voras. You know it makes sense.

A bit political there, boss. I had no idea you were a feminist.

There's a lot you don’t know about me. And fair's fair. Zoe earned $30 million in 2006. It doesn't make sense to alienate someone like that.

I suppose not.

Besides, you can't get laid these days unless you at least pay lip service to feminism.

Oh, that's the Master I know and love! Nice choice of words as well!