Monday, 10 May 2010

Ned Pumphrey has joined Mayfair Capital Investment Management!

It had to happen sooner or later. There was no way he could have stayed. You see, Ned Pumphrey was bored with running the London office of the Deramore Property Group. It wasn't exciting enough for him. And Mayfair Capital wanted him, so he jumped ship. Now he can feel the blood running through his veins! And life has flavour at last!

Tell us all about it, baby!

Welcome to my life. I have been with the investment agency Weatherall Green & Smith. I have been with Nelson Bakewell. Thirteen years with Deramore. Twenty-four years of commercial property experience. But what good did it do me? All those wasted years! Not once did money burn within me. I never saw the ghosts of the dead financiers. Not once was I touched by the trunk of Ganesh. The desert wind never moved the sand for me. Talk about desolation! But times change. Ned changes. Forever changes. I have seen astral light. My eyes have been lit. Fire has come. I will chair Mayfair's internal investment committee. And I suppose that is the truth. The bland truth. But there is a greater truth above it. The committee is a state of mind. I can take it higher. This is a golden opportunity for me. James Thornton says I will add a new dimension to the investment team. If only he knew! Yes, I will add a new dimension. I will lift the committee up into the astral world, or take it inside - whatever. I must prove myself. I know Ganesh the elephant god is interested in me. I know Big Herb wants to see me develop. If I get this right, I will be able to write my own ticket. Will I be working with Catherine Candler? You bet I will! But will she be able to stop me pushing through my agenda? No, no, no! Because I am supported! Spiritually! Mystically! In my subconsciousnessness ness ness everything is beautiful. This is my moment. I'm up for it! The cosmos is up for it! What can go wrong?

Thank you, Ned.

I wish him the best of luck. I always get a kick out of this sort of thing. A cold earth wanderer turns his back on the cold earth. He embraces the astral plane. What's not to like?

I just hope James Thornton and Catherine Candler will be able to cope with the new Ned. I'm sure they had no idea that he would be coming to the firm with such ambitious plans, such wild enthusiasm, and such raging fire in his heart. I suspect they wanted the old Ned. The man with the twenty-four years of commercial property experience. Well, c'est la vie.