Wednesday 19 May 2010

Nick Roberts will be an analyst at Gartmore

At least, that is what they would have us believe.

Not yet begun at Gartmore, but coming, this Nick Roberts. Soon to be a Gartmore analyst. Analysing collectives for the firm's four multi-manager funds.

O Master, what are these funds?

Absolute Return, Cautious, Balanced, and Active.

And they want us to believe he will be analysing this rubbish?

I know. How stupid do they think we are?

They must think we were born yesterday. Not a million years ago. We know Nick is a man of the desert. He will become Gartmore's shaman. He has the emptiness.

He has the pain of the great ones.

He got the teeth of the hydra upon him!

Eh? That's a T. Rex lyric, you prat! I thought we were doing away with song lyrics?

Sorry.

You've put me off my stroke now.

Sorry.

I was going to go off on a mystical rhapsody, like the last post. Teeth of the fucking hydra!

O Master, I'm sorry.

Whatever.