Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Quality Capital Management (that's QCM, that is) and the DB Platinum IV QCM GDP Index Fund

It doesn't get any better than this. As my title suggests, Quality Capital Management has a DB Platinum IV QCM GDP Index Fund. Well, it doesn't suggest anything - let's be frank. It just states a fact. Anyway, QCM has just launched this fund, and it's gonna be a winner. It has got to be.

The really exciting thing is that it is part of Deutsche Bank's db funds platform. Maybe you knew that already. Look at the 'DB' in the name.

QCM's chief executive officer, Aref Karim, is over the moon.

O Master, why is he over the moon? Oh, working with Deutsche Bank, yeah?

No, my child, that's not the reason. I'm sure Aref is absolutely delighted to be working with Deutsche Bank in launching this new fund, but the reason he is over the moon is that - in association with myself - he has been able to put himself over the moon.


He's over the moon.

What, physically?

No, not physically. Aref is an aeronaut of the spirit, a mental traveller, an astral wanderer. His consciousness or his soul or whatever is over the moon. And I was the one who made it happen.

Oh, this is fascinating! I think you better tell us more.

Well, Aref approached me recently. He had become dissatisfied with his life. It happens to a lot of successful businessmen. Aref wanted something more. Something spiritual. And that's where I came in. I let him know in no uncertain terms that for a small fee I could make his spiritual dreams, his wildest mystical fantasies, come true. I was the one who put him over the moon. Physically, he is still on earth. But he - if it can be called a he - is a shell of a man. You might say he is a shadow of his former self. I wouldn't say that though. I believe it is far more accurate to say that he is a shell of a man. There's nothing inside. It's all over the moon, the personality of Aref, the real man.

O Master, I've heard of drawing down the moon, but putting a man over the moon is a completely new thing, isn't it? It's revolutionary. How did you do it?

I had to go into a trance.

Well, that goes without saying.

Yeah, but Aref was with me. He also went into a trance. Our subconsciousnessesnesses nesses merged. Then I used my mystical powers. I carried him over the moon. Revolutionary, yes, but a very simple operation. And I left him there.

To stew in his own juices.

He's not doing that!

I'm joking, man. Do you think you left a bit of yourself there as well?

It's possible. I mean, you never know. It was a very emotional experience.

Do you think Aref will come back?

I very much doubt it. He's having the time of his life.

He's over the moon.

Yes. Yes, he is.