Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Warburg Pincus is buying Poundland for a pound!

Well, okay, I made that last bit up. I doubt the US private equity group Warburg Pincus will be buying the discount retailer Poundland for as little as £1. I don't know how much Warburg Pincus is paying. Maybe £2. Maybe £3. Who can say? How much would you pay?

O Master, I would go as high as £5.

Well, my child, you're the last of the big spenders, aren't you?

I know. My mum keeps saying I should be more careful with my money.

Your mum?! Who's your fucking mum?! You're just a voice in my head!

Ah, that's what you think. You'd be surprised, if you knew everything.

Listen, mate, if it wasn't for all my derangements, my howlings in this lonely cosmos, my aching soul, my wanderings in desert sands, my flying escapades through astral skies, you wouldn't even exist. There is no life without me.

O Master, that is just your ego talking. Get over yourself. I am real. The mystical children are real.

Yes, the other mystical children. I see them. But I only hear you.

I am voice. I am a voice. I am a voice.

You are a voice.

I am a voice.

You are a voice.