Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Simon Eagle to be fined by the FSA!

Yes, I'm back! But oh, I don't know what's been going on. I've been off with my head in the clouds, preparing for my day of destiny. So what's been going on?

Simon Eagle is gonna get fined by the FSA. A record fine, apparently. £2.8 million for share ramping! O Simon, mate, I bet you wish you could get away. I bet you wish you could put your head in the clouds.

Well, you're in luck.

I'm bringing the clouds to you. Blue clouds. Yellow clouds. Red clouds. Astral clouds coloured like my faces, Simon. Just for you! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Blue clouds. Lost in despair. Yes, we must start with despair. There is nothing to be afraid of. Take the pain, Simon. You must take the pain. Suck on a blue cloud. Let the clouds come. The blue clouds will wrap you in depression. Down you must go! I've been down. You must go down. Swirling with fear. Night terrors! Mist around your soul. Don't cry! You must be strong. Soon the yellow clouds will come. Hold on, mate. Here they come!

Yellow clouds. Yes, you are burning now. In the desert of our lovely dreams. You feel better now, don't you, Simon? Sure you do. You can't hide it. I see your smiling face. Yellow clouds all around. You are burning in the astral sky. This is what you have always wanted. You have worked for this, Simon. You deserve this. It won't last forever. It is just a taste of love. Enough to get you started. The FSA has never been loved like this. Kiss the yellow clouds, Simon! You're touching the sky! You are the sky. You are the clouds. You cannot separate yourself from this vision. And I'm with you. We are sticky all over!

Red clouds. Oh, red clouds. Now is the time for anger. For demonic power. Let's get revenge! Simon, feel the red clouds all around, filling you with evil passion. You know what you must do. Follow the clouds! They go to the FSA. Follow them! Red rain will destroy the unbelievers!

Oh, you're an eagle!