Thursday, 6 May 2010

Spongetech: Michael Metter, Steven Moskowitz, Jack Halperin, Joel Pensley, and George Speranza

Someone has been pumping and dumping. It ain't me. I've got more class than that.

The SEC has got it in for sponge makers now. It's beyond belief. Sponge makers! Whatever next?!

Michael Metter has been charged. He’s the chief executive. Steven Moskowitz has been charged. He’s a senior executive. Jack Halperin and Joel Pensley have been charged. They were attorneys to the firm. And George Speranza has been charged. I have no idea who he is. Some kinda stock promoter. I don't know.

'The SEC alleges that Spongetech CEO Michael Metter and another senior executive, Steven Moskowitz, hyped fictional customers and grossly exaggerated sales figures through dozens of bogus press releases and fraudulent SEC filings to pump up demand for stock in Spongetech, a company that sells soap-filled sponges. After flooding the market with the false information to fraudulently inflate the stock price, Metter, Moskowitz, and Spongetech dumped approximately 2.5 billion shares by illegally selling them to the public through affiliated entities in unregistered transactions. They spent portions of their illicit profits in highly visible sponsorship deals with professional sports teams to further create the aura that Spongetech was a well-known and prosperous business.' More here.

Soap-filled sponges, eh?

It's the hyping fictional customers bit that interests me. I have it on very good authority that my dear friend Keith Busby likes a soap-filled sponge at bath time. The authority being Keith himself. And he often speaks about it. I believe he owns a Spongetech sponge. Now, is he a fictional customer? A lot of people are of the opinion that he is a fictional character. They think I just make shit up, that I don't have any real friends, so I invent twats like Keith. Well, come on! Think about it. If I were going to invent a friend, I wouldn't in a million years come up with someone like Keith. And what about Maurice? They say you can choose your friends. Well ...

Anyway, I suggest the SEC gets in touch with Keith. He'll wax lyrical about his sponge, and then I imagine the SEC will have to drop its charges against Metter and the gang.