Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Ronny Rehn is joining Keefe, Bruyette & Woods ...

... eventually.

O Master, what is this 'eventually' shit?! What's going on?

Well, I suppose he has already joined the investment bank. But he won't actually start working there until August.

Why on earth not?

He has got to get his head straight first. He's a great analyst, but he has problems.

Oh, it's not the way he feels, is it? Don’t tell me he's another trader!

O my child, I just told you he's an analyst.

Did Morgan Stanley mess him up?

Not as far as I know.

Has he been overdoing the peyote?

No, he hasn't. He is very sensible.

Has he been hearing voices?

Well ...

The ghosts, yeah?

No, not the dead financiers.

Who then?

Vasco Moreno.

Who the fuck is Vasco Moreno?

He's the head of KBW's London unit.

Oh. And he's on the phone to Ronny all the time, is he?

No, Ronny hears Vasco's voice in his head.

You're shitting me?!


That's nuts!


What does Vasco say?

He denies it.

Oh, that's smart. That's what I would do if I were a voice in someone's head.

You are a voice in someone's head, you prick! You're a voice in my head.

But you don't have any complaints, do you?

I've grown used to you.

Ronny will get used to Vasco.

He doesn't want to get used to Vasco. That's why he's not starting work straight away. As I said, he wants to get his head sorted first.

I think he's a fool. If he can hear Vasco in his head, he'll save a fortune on his phone bill.

O my child, he's not worried about his phone bill. It's his mental health he's concerned about. Ronny ain't no financial shaman. He's just some square. This has come as a terrible shock to him.

How do you know so much about it?

I'm helping him.

For a small fee, I should imagine.

Of course. After all, I am not a communist.

He must let you draw the water from the well.

Yes. Share the wealth.

How much are you getting?

£200 a day. Plus a £3,000 bonus if I can 'cure' him.

What a fucking mug this Ronny must be!

That's the going rate!

Sure it is. You make me laugh, I'm telling you.

Fuck off.