Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Nick Purves and Ian Lance hired by RWC Partners

Yes, everything you have heard is true. Nick Purves (but I wouldn't hold it against him) and Ian Lance are being taken by RWC Partners to another place, far away from the Schroders fund they have known and loved and managed. But we shouldn't be sad. I know that Ian is happy. And Nick is as happy as someone with his problems can be.

I phoned Ian last night. This is what he said to me: 'Mikey, man, don't be sad. Nick and I will be managing a fund at RWC Partners that will be just like the Schroder Income fund. (Ian, mate, at RWC? In the office, yeah?) No, not quite. (Well, that's what I thought. I heard you were taking the fund out into the desert of our dreams.) Physical desert, mate. (The physical desert?!) Yeah. I know the physical desert has traditionally been a retreat for financial shamans, money mystics, and the like, but more and more fund managers are moving out there now. (Does Mike Corcell know about this?) Are you fucking crazy?! No, we're keeping him out of the loop. (I think that's for the best.) Yeah. Last thing we need is Corcell losing it again, like the time at Threadneedle. Five men died that day. (Oh, come on, Ian! We don't know they're dead.) Well, has anyone seen them? Five analysts, gone. Just like that. (It puts things in perspective, doesn't it?) Yes, it does. Too much fucking perspective. I value my life, you know? And I want to concentrate on business without it turning into a fucking bloodbath. It ain't worth it, telling Corcell. (Won't he wonder where you are with the fund though?) That's a good point. We'll have to tell him we've got a new office somewhere. (Will he buy that?) After all the drugs he's done? He'll buy anything. He's not the man you used to know, Mikey. (I didn't know him that well.) I've known him years. But the desert changed him. Made him bitter, angry. It's a real shame. (It can be a dangerous place, the desert. I want you and Nick to take care, you hear?) Don't worry about us. (I'm serious, Ian.) Mikey, everything is going to be beautiful. We're going to make so much money. Nothing will go wrong.'

Christ. I hope they're not famous last words.