Monday, 10 May 2010

Timothy Geithner and 'shadow banking'

I have not written about the US treasury secretary Timothy Geithner before. But why not? He's a pretty important figure. Is it because I have a natural aversion to men called Timothy? Or am I just lazy?

Whatever the reason, I have not written about him. But that all changes today. It changes HERE! It changes NOW! There I am, over there, writing about him. Writing about Tim. I can see myself with the laptop.

I don't know all the details. Living the way I do, I rarely get a grip on the whole story. Most of the time, I am in a state of confusion. Half in a dream world, half in our (or your) so-called real world, floating between different realities. Visions of Gillian. Blood on the moon. Tears in the morning. You understand, don't you? All I know is that Timothy - if we must call him that - is concerned about 'shadow banking'.

O Master, what's with the '', man?

Timothy is concerned about shadow banking. He has got it in head (there is a thought in his head) that shadow banking has not been regulated enough. Not enough rules. Oh, he wants more rules! But what is this 'shadow banking'? Is it all hedge funds, pension funds, and the like?

No, it's Jack Pickles, isn't it?

Yes. Jack Pickles. Jack does all his banking in the shadows on the lower levels of the astral plane. That is the real 'shadow banking'. That's what Timothy really wants to regulate.

O Master, he REALLY wants to regulate it. What chance has he got?

A snowball's chance on the lower levels.

That's a shame.

Actually, I don't think it is a shame. And let me tell you why. Mr Geithner - if we must call him that - would move up to the higher levels if he ever managed to settle Jack's hash. He would want to regulate Big Herb, Ganesh, the dead financiers, and yours truly. That's me, that is. I don't want no real 'cold' world mutha sticking his nose into my business. No one regulates me. No one regulates my friends or my associates. WE BURN BEYOND. No one can touch us.

So Jack is doing us a massive favour.

Yes, in a strange sort of way. Jack is drawing all the heat. And he'll be able to deal with the situation. 'Timothy' Geithner against Jack and his foul crew? No contest.

Jack will eat 'Tim' for breakfast!

Unless he goes there at dinner time.

Jack will eat Tim for dinner!

My advice to 'Mr' Geithner is that he leaves well alone. Stay away from the astral plane. Lower levels, higher levels - it makes no difference. He does not belong there. It's not his scene at all.

He's too square to burn!

And on the lowers levels he would be reduced to ashes. Say what you like about Jack, but he doesn't mess around when it comes to squares wandering on to his patch. Ashes!

Ashes!

O Mr Geithner '', are you reading this?

Ashes!

Forget about shadow banking. Forget about regulation. I know you don't want to be reduced to a pile of ashes. Leave well alone.

Ashes! Ashes! Ashes!

O my child, don't labour the point. He's got the picture.